मैं हमेशा से जानता था कि चूंकि ईश्वर ने इतने चमत्कारिक ढंग से मेरी रक्षा की है, इसलिए वह मुझसे अपना काम भी ज़रूर लेंगे। ईश्वर हमेशा अयोग्य लोगों को ही अपना संदेश फैलाने के लिए चुनता है ताकि इसका श्रेय कोई इंसान न ले सके। ईश्वर हम जैसे लोगों को पसंद करता है जिन्हें पाप के अंधकार से निकालकर लाया जाता है और दूसरों के लिए भी ऐसा ही करने का सामर्थ्य देता है। हम वही लोग हैं जिनकी गवाही इन शब्दों से शुरू होती है... "अगर यीशु न होते!"
I have always known that, because God so miraculously rescued me that he would also use me. God always uses the unqualified to fulfill his commission. This ensures that no man can take credit. God likes those of us that are pulled from the depths of sin and anoints us to do the same for others. We are those who have the testimony that begins with.... "If it had not been for Jesus!"
I have always known that, because God so miraculously rescued me that he would also use me. God always uses the unqualified to fulfill his commission. This ensures that no man can take credit. God likes those of us that are pulled from the depths of sin and anoints us to do the same for others. We are those who have the testimony that begins with.... "If it had not been for Jesus!"
हुआ यह कि धीरे-धीरे मैं अपना सब कुछ खोने लगा क्योंकि कोकीन की लत मेरे सिर चढ़कर बोल रही थी। जिन कामों के लिए मुझे साइन किया जाता था, मैं वहाँ भी नहीं पहुँच पाता था—चाहे वह किसी वीडियो के लिए शूटिंग हो या किसी मैगजीन के लिए विज्ञापन। मैं बस कोकीन के नशे में पार्टी करता रहता था। आखिरकार, मैं अपना सब कुछ गंवाने लगा। इसलिए, मैं कैलिफ़ोर्निया छोड़कर वापस अलबामा चला गया ताकि अपनी ज़िंदगी को फिर से पटरी पर ला सकूँ—लेकिन सिर्फ जगह बदलने से मुझे कोई खास मदद नहीं मिली क्योंकि असली समस्या मेरे अपने भीतर थी।
What happened was I began to eventually lose everything because cocaine had such a hold on me. I wouldn't show up to do things I had been hired to do - whether it was film for a video or do an ad for a magazine or something. I'd be out partying with cocaine. Eventually, I began to lose everything. So, I left California and went back to Alabama in an attempt to try to get my life together - but geographical location didn't necessarily help me because the real problem was in me.
What happened was I began to eventually lose everything because cocaine had such a hold on me. I wouldn't show up to do things I had been hired to do - whether it was film for a video or do an ad for a magazine or something. I'd be out partying with cocaine. Eventually, I began to lose everything. So, I left California and went back to Alabama in an attempt to try to get my life together - but geographical location didn't necessarily help me because the real problem was in me.
(एक और रिहैब सेंटर से निकलने के बाद) मैं एक रविवार की सुबह घर आया। मैं अपने बिस्तर के किनारे बैठ गया। मैं कभी चर्च नहीं गया था। मैंने कभी बाइबल नहीं पढ़ी थी। मैं ईश्वर के खिलाफ़ नहीं था। बस मैंने कभी ईश्वर के बारे में सोचा ही नहीं था। मैं सिर्फ अपने लिए जीता था और अपने बारे में ही सोचता था... तब तक मेरी शादी हो चुकी थी। मेरी शादी को दो साल हो चुके थे। तो, उस समय मैं रविवार की सुबह नौ बजे अपने बिस्तर के कोने पर बैठा था। मेरा एक बेटा है जो अभी दो साल का भी नहीं हुआ है और मैं फूट-फूट कर रोने लगा क्योंकि मैं पूरा हफ्ता कोकीन के नशे में डूबा रहा था।
(After getting out of another treatment center) I came home one Sunday morning. I sat on the edge of my bed. I never grew up going to church. I never read a Bible. I wasn't anti-God. I just never thought about God. I just lived for myself and thought about myself...I was married by this point. I'd been married for two years. So, here I am sitting on the edge of my bed, nine o'clock Sunday morning. I have a son who's not quite two yet and I just broke down crying because I had been out all weekend doing cocaine.
(After getting out of another treatment center) I came home one Sunday morning. I sat on the edge of my bed. I never grew up going to church. I never read a Bible. I wasn't anti-God. I just never thought about God. I just lived for myself and thought about myself...I was married by this point. I'd been married for two years. So, here I am sitting on the edge of my bed, nine o'clock Sunday morning. I have a son who's not quite two yet and I just broke down crying because I had been out all weekend doing cocaine.