मैंने एक बार एक बेहोश आदमी के साथ कुकर्म किया था। मजाक कर रहा हूँ, जब मैंने उसे देखा था तब वह पहले से ही बेहोश था

I once buggered a man unconscious. I'm lying, he was already unconscious when I found him

I once buggered a man unconscious. I'm lying, he was already unconscious when I found him

Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Neutral Type: Humorous 98%

बहाने गधे के पिछले हिस्से जैसे होते हैं। हर किसी के पास होते हैं और बदबूदार होते हैं।

Excuses are like rear ends. Everybody has one and they stink.

Excuses are like rear ends. Everybody has one and they stink.

Topic Self & Identity Attitude
Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Negative Type: Aphorism 98%

मैं 'द थ्री स्टूजेस' और 'मॉन्टी पाइथन' का बहुत बड़ा फैन रहा हूँ, इसलिए किसी के चेहरे पर मछली से थप्पड़ पड़ना, या कुर्सी से गिर जाना, या दरवाजे से टकरा जाना, या अपने ही पैरों में उलझकर धड़ाम से गिर जाना—ये सब ऐसी चीजें हैं जो मुझे बहुत, बहुत ज्यादा मजेदार लगती हैं।

I'm grew up a huge fan of The Three Stooges and Monty Python, so somebody getting slapped in the face with a fish, or falling out of a chair, or running into a door, or tripping over their own feet and eating it, is all stuff I find really, really funny.

I'm grew up a huge fan of The Three Stooges and Monty Python, so somebody getting slapped in the face with a fish, or falling out of a chair, or running into a door, or tripping over their own feet and eating it, is all stuff I find really, really funny.

Themes #Human Nature
Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Positive Type: Observation 98%

मैं और मेरे पति शुद्ध और कायदे से व्याकरण वाली अंग्रेजी बोलते हैं, जबकि बच्चे एक ऐसी अजीब भाषा बोलते हैं जिसे समझना नामुमकिन है, क्योंकि वह महज़ चार वाक्यों पर टिकी होती है: 'हूँ?', 'पता नहीं', 'मेरी बारी नहीं है', और 'घर का सारा काम मैं ही तो करती हूँ!'

My husband and I speak an ancient language called grammatical English, and the kids speak a strange dialect which is difficult to decode because it is based on only four phrases: 'Huh,' 'I dunno,' 'It's not my turn,' and 'I do everything around here!

My husband and I speak an ancient language called grammatical English, and the kids speak a strange dialect which is difficult to decode because it is based on only four phrases: 'Huh,' 'I dunno,' 'It's not my turn,' and 'I do everything around here!

Topic Relationships & Love Family
Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Neutral Type: Observation 98%

अपने भांजे के साथ रहने का मज़ा ही कुछ और है, और जब आप थक जाएँ, तो उसे वापस अपनी बहन को सौंप दें

There's something so great about being with your nephew and, when you're tired, just handing him off back to your sister.

There's something so great about being with your nephew and, when you're tired, just handing him off back to your sister.

Topic Relationships & Love Family
Themes #Simplicity
Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Positive Type: Observation 98%

मेरे पिता बहुत मज़ाकिया थे, इसलिए मेरा बचपन हँसी-मज़ाक के माहौल में बीता। मुझे हमेशा से टीवी पर आने वाली कॉमेडी और कॉमेडियन बहुत आकर्षित करते थे।

My father was very funny, so I grew up with humor in the house. And I was always really attracted to comedies on TV. I was always really attracted to comics.

My father was very funny, so I grew up with humor in the house. And I was always really attracted to comedies on TV. I was always really attracted to comics.

Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Positive Type: Reflection 98%

मुझे खेलकूद से नफरत है। गेंद को देखकर मेरी प्रतिक्रिया यह होती है [फुटबॉल पर लात मारते हुए] इसे वापस मेरी तरफ मत किक करना। मैं इसे दोबारा देखना भी नहीं चाहता।

I hate sports. My reaction to the ball is this [kicks soccer ball] Don't kick it back to me. I don't wanna see it again.

I hate sports. My reaction to the ball is this [kicks soccer ball] Don't kick it back to me. I don't wanna see it again.

Topic Achievement & Work Sports
Themes #Authenticity
Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Negative Type: Humorous 98%

मैं कॉमेडी शो करता हूँ। सबसे पहले, मैं खुद पर ही हँसता हूँ।

I do comedy shows. I make fun of myself, first of all.

I do comedy shows. I make fun of myself, first of all.

Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Positive Type: Humorous 98%

मुझे पर्दे पर खुद को देखना बिल्कुल पसंद नहीं क्योंकि मेरे मन में अपनी छवि जॉर्ज क्लूनी जैसी है, लेकिन जब मैं खुद को परदे पर देखता हूँ, तो 'शrek' फिल्म के गधे (Donkey) से ज़्यादा मेल खाता नज़र आता हूँ।

I dont like to watch myself on screen because in my mind there is a touch of George Clooney about me, but when I see it, there is more than a little Donkey from Shrek about me.

I dont like to watch myself on screen because in my mind there is a touch of George Clooney about me, but when I see it, there is more than a little Donkey from Shrek about me.

Topic Self & Identity Humility
Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Mixed Type: Humorous 98%

मेरे जीवन का सबसे बेहतरीन दिन वह था जब मैं 25 साल का हुआ। उसी दिन मेरे कार का बीमा सस्ता हुआ था। हाँ भाई, उस दिन मेरे 1,200 डॉलर बच गए थे।

The best day of my life was when I turned 25. That's the day my car insurance went down. Yeah, boy, I saved $1,200 that day.

The best day of my life was when I turned 25. That's the day my car insurance went down. Yeah, boy, I saved $1,200 that day.

Topic Achievement & Work Money
Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Positive Type: Humorous 98%

माइकल जॉर्डन द्वारा प्ले-ऑफ में रिकॉर्ड 69 अंक बनाने के बाद—मुझे यह रात हमेशा याद रहेगी जब माइकल और मैंने मिलकर कुल 70 अंक बनाए थे।

After Michael Jordan had scored a play-off record 69 points - I'll always remember this as the night Michael and I combined to score 70 points.

After Michael Jordan had scored a play-off record 69 points - I'll always remember this as the night Michael and I combined to score 70 points.

Topic Achievement & Work Sports
Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Positive Type: Humorous 98%

मेसी को रोकना है? तो आपको बंदूक लानी होगी, ठाएँ-ठाएँ और बस बात खत्म।

How to stop Messi? You need to bring a shotgun, pam-pam and that's it.

How to stop Messi? You need to bring a shotgun, pam-pam and that's it.

Topic Achievement & Work Sports
Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Neutral Type: Humorous 98%

पेट की मांसपेशियों के लिए कई तरह की कसरत होती हैं... मेरी पसंदीदा नेस्ले है।

There’s a bunch of different crunches that affect the abs … my favorite is Nestle.

There’s a bunch of different crunches that affect the abs … my favorite is Nestle.

Topic Health & Body Fitness
Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Positive Type: Humorous 98%

अगर आपको शराब से एलर्जी है... तो क्या आप इसके लिए शॉट्स ले सकते हैं?

If you are allergic to alcohol... can you take shots for that?

If you are allergic to alcohol... can you take shots for that?

Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Neutral Type: Question 98%

मुझे एक उपन्यासकार बनने का विचार बहुत भाता है। मैं कल्पना करती हूँ कि मैं समुद्र तट पर हूँ, हवा में मेरे बाल उड़ रहे हैं, मेरे चारों ओर घोड़े दौड़ रहे हैं और मैं किसी खेत के बीच में बैठकर अपने टाइपराइटर पर लिख रही हूँ।

I like the idea of being a novelist. I picture myself on the coast, the wind in my hair, horses galloping around me as I sit at my typewriter in the middle of a field.

I like the idea of being a novelist. I picture myself on the coast, the wind in my hair, horses galloping around me as I sit at my typewriter in the middle of a field.

Topic Creativity & Expression Writing
Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Positive Type: Humorous 98%

शayad मैं फिटनेस पर एक वीडियो बनाऊँ। असल में, यह फिटनेस से ज़्यादा मोटापे पर होगा।

I might do a fitness video. Actually, more of a fatness video.

I might do a fitness video. Actually, more of a fatness video.

Topic Health & Body Fitness
Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Positive Type: Humorous 98%

यदि ईश्वर चाहते कि फुटबॉल वसंत ऋतु में खेला जाए, तो वे कभी बेसबॉल का आविष्कार ही नहीं करते।

If God wanted football played in the spring, he would not have invented baseball.

If God wanted football played in the spring, he would not have invented baseball.

Topic Achievement & Work Sports
Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Positive Type: Humorous 98%

मैं संगीत का बहुत बड़ा कीड़ा हूँ, ख़ास तौर पर जैज़ का।

I am a complete jazz nerd.

I am a complete jazz nerd.

Themes #Authenticity
Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Positive Type: Observation 98%

हर दिन फुल-बॉडी मसाज करवाने का कोई न कोई तरीका जरूर निकालें।

Find a way to get a full-body massage every day.

Find a way to get a full-body massage every day.

Topic Health & Body Health
Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Positive Type: Life Advice 98%

क्रिस्टिन बाऊर बहुत मज़ाकिया हैं। उनके साथ काम करते समय आधे से ज़्यादा समय तो मेरा हँसी रोकने में ही निकल जाता है।

Kristin Bauer is so funny. Half the time I'm working with her I'm just trying to keep a straight face.

Kristin Bauer is so funny. Half the time I'm working with her I'm just trying to keep a straight face.

Themes #Authenticity
Tone: Humorous Sentiment: Positive Type: Observation 98%
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